I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
