Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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