If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
