There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
