Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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