My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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