chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
