U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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