you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
