bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
