he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
