just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize