I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
