It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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