don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
