You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
