I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
