It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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