I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
bring money and cleavage
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
