The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize