How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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