so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
