Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
