definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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