This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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