Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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