Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
