I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize