Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
jump out the window naked night went bad
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