At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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