Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
