how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
