My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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