i just wanna soil my oats bro
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
