i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can't turn off my feet"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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