real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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