hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize