i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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