You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
false alarm. still invincible.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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