do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize