dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
