Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
