Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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