Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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