$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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