so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
