I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
