just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
