Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
50% drunk capacity currently
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
