you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
