Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
