her vagine was all disorganized.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
