He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
