i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
