So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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