It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
