; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
