There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
