Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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