How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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